I feel like I have so much to say and nothing all at the same time.

Mostly I’m lonely,  I have a lot of friends but I’m lonely.  I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Like I have no trust in people anymore.

I’m going to a friend’s wedding on the weekend,  I’m the maid of honor? Always thought that meant you had to be married to do that  role,  so I’m going to call it had bridesmaid.

I have no plus one,  I’ve no got someone who loves me like that. I feel empty and behind the pack,  I always wanted to be young without these signs of age for my wedding photos and now I just feel like this is me. Alone not quite good enough for that love for that person.  That I need to get used to this lonely.

I’ve always put my all into relationships and never gotten anything back for it,  just told I’m wrong. I’m over being wrong,  I’m over not being good enough. So now I say very little I’m growing more quiet and not speaking my mind.  I’m sick of my house I want my space I want my rules.  I want to be lonely alone at least then I wouldn’t feel like this.  Then I could be not good enough in my own space.

I want to be happy again but it’s not that simple.  I want to say so many things but it’s not worth the backlash.

Thanks all for now this would be so much easier with a keyboard.

MissKita xx